If you've been following my Instagram account, you'll probably already know that I am on a mission.
That mission is to get more people writing (and sending) letters to each other.
And that mission means that today I am starting a new series of blog posts aimed at encouraging you to send letters to the important people in your life.
To get started, I wanted to look at some of the reasons why you should send someone a letter, on occasions that are not their birthday.
To be honest, you don't need a reason to send someone a letter. However, I appreciate that sometimes we need a little motivation otherwise we worry about it looking weird for a letter to just turn up. Isn't it crazy that once-upon-a-time, sending a random letter was actually "normal" because it was the only way people could communicate with each other, outside of real life interactions.
One. Missing Them
When you're missing someone, writing them a letter can make you feel more connected to them. It can feel good to update them on things that you have been up to, so that it feels like they are involved in your life, even if they are not physically there as much as you would like them to be.
Two. Sadness
A study by Professor Steven Toepfer, of Kent State University, found that writing letters of gratitude or appreciation significantly increased the overall happiness and life satisfaction of participants. The most interesting thing about Toepfer's study, however, was that you don't even have to send the letter to anyone, to truly feel the benefits. Simply writing a letter, when you feel sad would help to decrease any negative feelings.
Three. Starting a New Job
Starting a new job can be a whirlwind of emotions from excitement of the new challenge in front of them, to the intense feeling of imposter syndrome. A letter helps to remind them of everything they have achieved so far, and everything that they have proven they are capable of, even if they can't see it.
Four. Having a Hard Time
When a loved one is going through a hard time, it can be easy for them to sink into a loneliness spiral. Sending them a letter of compassion, or humour, or whatever fits your personal relationship with this person, can help tell them that they are definitely not alone, and you are here for them whenever they need you.
Sometimes it can be easier to say this, on paper, than it feels to say it out loud, and that's okay.
Five. Getting Married
Getting married is another day of very mixed emotions, mostly because we place so much pressure on it to be some level of "perfect". Many brides and grooms spend the run up to their big day worrying about little things that might ruin their big day, from tripping down the aisle, saying the wrong name or flowers not turning up on time. A letter can remind them that nothing can truly ruin their day, because this is just one single day, whilst a marriage is the rest of their lives.
Six. Having a Baby
"Women have been having babies for millennia"...might actually be the worst kind of advice for someone excitedly nervous about the arrival of a child, especially if it is their first child. Sending them a letter reminding them of everything they have handled so far, in their life, can help to boost them, when they really need it.
Seven. Buying a House
Buying a house is one of the biggest, scariest and stressful experiences that many of us will ever go through. It can often feel like the tunnel to home ownership is endless, whilst solicitors do their work in the background, and you're waiting for the contract to land in your hands. A letter can be a little reminder that, however long the wait, someone is genuinely excited for the day they finally get the keys.
Eight. Redundancy
Losing a job, whether it's expected or completely out of the blue, has a way of chipping away at how someone sees themselves, even when it has nothing to do with their ability or worth. There's often a strange sense of shame attached to redundancy that nobody deserves to carry. A letter that reminds them of their skills, their character, and the fact that a job title was never the whole story, can help them hold onto a bit of themselves while everything else feels uncertain.
Nine. Moving Away
Whether it's down the road or across the country, moving away changes the shape of a friendship, even when the love stays exactly the same. A letter says "distance doesn't get to decide how much I think of you," in a way that's a bit harder to say convincingly over a rushed phone call.
Ten. Heading Off to University
Leaving home for the first time is equal parts freedom and terrifying, usually within the same hour. A letter tucked into a bag, or posted for the first week of term, gives them something solid to hold onto when everything else, from timetables to flatmates, is brand new.
Eleven. Travelling
There's something quietly romantic about a letter finding its way to someone while they're off having an adventure, especially in a world where everyone's default is a quick message from their phone. It tells them that home is still there, exactly as they left it, waiting for all their stories when they're ready to tell them.
Twelve. Getting Divorced
Divorce is a loss, even when it's the right decision, even when everyone agrees it's for the best. People rarely get "sorry for your loss" cards for the end of a marriage, despite how much grief can be involved. A letter that simply acknowledges the ending, without judgement or advice, can mean more than any well-meaning pep talk about silver linings.
Thirteen. Losing a Loved One
Grief makes people disappear a little, not because they want to be alone, but because the world can feel unbearably loud. Cards often arrive in that first, chaotic week and then the messages dry up, right around the time the loneliness properly sets in. A letter that arrives later, just to say you're still thinking of them, tells them that their loss hasn't been quietly filed away by everyone else while they're still living in it.
Fourteen. Sickness
Illness, especially anything long or uncertain, can be incredibly isolating, and visitors tend to taper off long before the recovery does. A letter doesn't need a hospital visiting hours slot or a "you're looking well" to navigate around. It can simply exist, be read and re-read, and remind them that they're more than their diagnosis.
Fifteen. Retiring
Retirement gets treated like one long holiday, but for a lot of people it's also the loss of routine, purpose and a whole community of colleagues, all in one day. A letter that reflects on who they were at work, not just what they did, gives them something to take with them into this new, wide-open chapter.
Sixteen. Break-Up
Break-ups come with an unspoken time limit on how long you're allowed to be sad about them, which is nonsense, frankly. A letter doesn't rush anyone through the stages, or ask them to see the positives yet. It just says you're on their side, however long it takes.
Seventeen. Long-Distance Friendship
Some friendships survive on nothing but the odd voice note and a shared understanding that life is busy. A letter, though, takes actual time and effort, which is exactly what makes it feel different from a "thinking of you x" text sent between meetings.
Eighteen. Anxiety
Anxiety has a habit of convincing people that they're a burden, too much, or somehow alone in how they're feeling. A letter can't argue back or get talked over, so it can just sit there, patiently, saying "I see you, and none of this changes how much you matter to me," for as long as they need to hear it.
Nineteen. Thank You
We say thank you so often, and so quickly, that it barely registers anymore, especially for the people who do the most and are thanked the least. Writing it down forces you to actually think about what you're grateful for, rather than reaching for the word on autopilot, and that thought is what they'll actually feel.
Twenty. Having News
Some news is too big for a text message, or too complicated for a phone call squeezed between other things. Whether it's happy, complicated, or somewhere in between, a letter gives you room to explain it properly, and gives them room to sit with it before they have to respond.
Twenty-One. Annual Summary
There's something lovely about a letter that isn't tied to any occasion at all, just a general "here's what this year looked like for me." It's a small, low-pressure way of staying close to someone, and one day, it becomes a genuinely lovely thing to look back on.
Twenty-Two. Nostalgia
Sometimes a smell, a song, or a passing memory pulls someone from your past right back into your head, and there's no real "reason" to reach out other than that. A letter is the perfect home for that kind of thought, the one that's too rambling for a text but too nice to just let go of.
Twenty-Three. Celebrating an Achievement
Big wins get a round of applause; the quieter ones, like finally finishing that course, or getting through a hard year at work, often go unnoticed. A letter lets you name the achievement out loud, in detail, and tell them exactly why it mattered to you, watching from the sidelines.
Twenty-Four. Saying Sorry
Some apologies get lost the moment they're spoken, rushed out in the heat of a conversation before either person has really processed them. Writing it down means you have to sit with what you actually did, and choose your words properly, instead of just wanting the awkwardness to be over. That care tends to come through on the page in a way it doesn't always manage to, out loud.
Twenty-Five. Just Because
And finally, the best reason of all: no reason at all. A letter that arrives with nothing to explain it, other than "I was thinking of you," might be the most meaningful one someone receives all year, purely because it asked nothing of them and expected nothing back.
Note: All links take you to a corresponding letter, so if you don't know what to say in a letter, send them a pre-written one instead :)